How To Forgive Yourself And Others

Forgiveness is a powerful emotion that can have a profound impact on our lives. When we forgive ourselves or others, we release the negative emotions that are holding us back and allow ourselves to move on.

Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is worth it. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the pain of the past and open ourselves up to the possibility of happiness and healing. Forgiveness is for you, not for them. That may sound harsh, but you need to be able to forgive yourself before you want others to forgive you.

Forgiveness is not about condoning what happened. It's about letting go of the anger, resentment, and bitterness that we hold onto when we're hurt. Forgiveness is about choosing to move on and not let the past dictate our present. 

It's important to acknowledge the pain and hurt that you're feeling before you can forgive. Don't try to suppress your emotions or pretend that you're not hurting. Keeping it inside and not acknowledging it is unhealthy. It keeps the negativity inside you and that is not where you want to be.

Talking to a therapist, counselor, or friend can help you to process your emotions and understand why you're feeling the way you are. Make a list of what you are holding on to. This could include things that you've done to yourself or things that others have done to you. Once you have a list, you can start to work on letting go of each item one by one. This would help to have on hand once you decide to talk to someone about how you are feeling.

Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you made in the past. Hey, everyone makes mistakes, and you are not alone in that. Try to find the positive. What have you learned, and how can prevent it from happening again.

If you are trying to forgive others, let go of the need for revenge. This will only make you feel worse and it is a negative thought. If you truly cannot forgive the other person for whatever they have done, forgive yourself for this. Not that you are in the wrong, but forgiving yourself by feeling bad because you cannot forgive them could be helpful.

People are people. No one is perfect. That does not excuse unexcused behavior, but if you can remove yourself from the situation all the better. You must look after yourself first.

As I wrap up this blog post, my mind says to me, what if someone did something so heinous and so bad, that I can never forgive them. You don't necessarily have to. If it goes beyond your beliefs or control, do your best to move away from the situation. That may be easy for me to sit here and type, BUT, there are groups, people, organizations, etc. that can help you. You are a priority. Only YOU can take care of yourself and you must make that first step.

Remember though, forgiving is for YOU not for others.

Here are some places you can go if you are in a situation where you need help

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: This hotline provides 24/7 support to women who are experiencing domestic violence. They can help you find a safe place to stay, get legal assistance, and connect you with other resources. You can call them at 1-800-799-7233 or chat with them online at thehotline.org.

Women's shelters: These shelters provide a safe place for women to stay who are fleeing domestic violence or other forms of abuse. They also offer counseling, support groups, and other resources. You can find a shelter near you by visiting the National Network to End Domestic Violence website at nndv.org.

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN): This organization provides 24/7 support to survivors of sexual assault. They can help you find a therapist, connect you with a support group, and get legal assistance. You can call them at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat with them online at RAINN.org.

The Salvation Army: This organization provides a variety of services to people in need, including food, shelter, and financial assistance. They also offer job training and other programs to help people get back on their feet. You can find a Salvation Army location near you by visiting their website at salvationarmyusa.org.