Setting Boundaries

 

Boundaries are limits that we set to protect ourselves from being physically, emotionally, or mentally harmed. They can be set in our personal and professional lives, and they can be as simple as saying no to a request or as complex as setting up a system of communication with our partners.

Setting boundaries is important for our physical and mental health. When we don't set boundaries, we can end up feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and resentful. We may also find ourselves being taken advantage of by others.

There are many different ways to set boundaries.

• Be clear and direct. When you are setting a boundary, be clear and direct about what you are asking for. Don't beat around the bush or try to sugarcoat things. 
• Be assertive, not aggressive.  This means being firm and confident, but not rude or disrespectful. 
• Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, it may be necessary to compromise when setting boundaries. This doesn't mean that you have to give up on your needs entirely, but it does mean being willing to meet the other person halfway.
• Be consistent. Once you have set a boundary, be consistent in enforcing it. This means saying no even when it's difficult and sticking to your guns even when the other person tries to pressure you.

Here are some examples of boundaries that you can set

• Setting physical boundaries: This could involve things like not allowing someone to touch you without your consent or not letting someone into your home without warning. We have been taught this long ago. To be honest, if the doorbell rings especially after dark, I do not answer it. If it is important, most everyone has a cell phone and can call or text me that they are outside my door. As far as someone touching you without consent - well, I have NO problem letting them know it is NOT okay, and keep ya hands to yaself!

• Setting emotional boundaries: This could involve things like not discussing certain topics with someone or not letting someone take advantage of your emotions. This can be tough as some people just get under your skin and you have a hard time getting rid of them ( I know that sounds rude but...) 
• Setting time boundaries: This could involve things like setting aside time for yourself each day or not working late hours. You have control over this the majority of the time. Especially if you are retired. Sometimes you have too much time to yourself. So this could work the other way. Make time to be with friends or socialize. 
• Setting financial boundaries: This could involve things like not lending money to friends or family or not letting someone else control your finances. This is tricky. As we age, we may need the help of family, whether we like it or not, to assist us with our finances. That is where naming a power of attorney can come in to play. Lending large amounts of money to friends is easy, just don't do it. 

Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it's worth it for our physical and mental health. It is also an important part of self-care. By doing so, we can protect ourselves from being physically, emotionally, and mentally harmed. We can also create a more positive and supportive environment for ourselves.